im pretty sure this is an autism thing anon, i hate to bear the news. i never actually got my sperg ass diagnosed but i really believe that i have autism or at least something, rejection sensitivity disorder is the new meme term they like to attach to autists, its not just raging that you got turned down by stacy but extreme anger and problems will all kinds of rejection, which can be social like not fitting in, people not understanding your jokes etc. i browse r/autism sometimes to see if i have anything in common with those reddit spergs and i do notice a lot of shit related to things like agonizing over what they said in a situation for years after, a popular thread was one where a guy showed a friend a song he liked but his friend thought it was cringey, so his friends words played in his head every time he heard the song and had to delete it from his playlists. ive literally done that.
its a rough realization to come to, but after spending my whole life like this i just know that i cant do it anymore. this is no way to live, whatever you imagine chads to be they dont spend every waking day banging their heads against the wall thinking about being awkward in middleschool. i try not to think of this shit but ill see something in life that reminds me of any kind of repressed memory and it just comes right back, i have an excellent memory. being awkward with a good memory means you just need to figure out how to put these memories aside and live with them or an hero i guess.